Wednesday, 22 February 2017 19:18

Why Match Took Down My Dating Profile

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Being that I am a single guy and don't want to die alone surrounded by hungry cats, I do spend time on dating websites looking for my match. Unfortunately I haven’t had the kind of luck your neighbor did finding the love of his life online in one week. I will take some of the credit for the lack of success, bing that I’m very picky in who I want to spend my time with. I’ve had my share...
of relationships that made me want to chew on broken glass and wash it down with rubbing alcohol. However, I do put forth effort when I see a women I’m interested in. My issue is that I reach out to so many women, I try to be funny, ask a question related to their bio or picture, but 99% of the time all I get is a viewing of my bio and off they go to the next potential. Not even a “Thanks but no thanks”!

So I had an idea...

I decided to write a completely fake but humorous bio to see what would happen, put this on my account and then send out a flurry of emails again. (What could go wrong?)

The response was immediate! I received replies like “Great Bio”, “Love the bio”, “You win the award for best bio” etc...

I'm thinking YES! I found the magic formula! Now I can focus on engaging on these new leads!

Not so fast there buddy!

Just a couple days later I received an email from Match.com (I am a paid member) they told me by bio had been taken down for a terms of service violation, and I need to fix the problem. Wait? What? The reason I was so surprised was because when I submitted this bio, it was APPROVED by them? Wouldn't you think it would have been rejected at that time?

Well i'm back online now with a much less entertaining bio and as you can imagine, the replies have stopped again, but thats fine, its not my first rodeo.
Below is the offending bio... enjoy
I've been living in my mom's basement all my life. I never get out of bed before noon and have my favorite recliner I call Mr Smooth. It smells a bit like almonds but man it is comfy! I quit school when I was 13 to raise chickens and teach them how to sit. Showers are just a suggestion and I take one once a week for sure. I'm told I have fathered children in 16 states but only pay child support for 3. WHEW! I'm always late to my dates, (shows how important I am), I borrow bus fare from my mom and always leave my wallet at home, lots of scary people out there! I love to eat, I always have a second portion, I think utensils are for lazy people and love to tell stories with my mouth full, I kinda sound like like Sean Connery when I do. ;-) I can't spell and can barely read, but my memory is good and I can joke and laugh my way through and academic situation. I'm disabled and live on social security, twisting my ankle so many years ago catching that frisbee not spilling my beer was so traumatic! I'm glad our government is making sure me and my ma are taken care of. Well I guess that is about it. I just heard the microwave ding, my pizza rolls are ready. Oh and if you have cats, more the merrier!
Read 136 times Last modified on Wednesday, 15 March 2017 15:57
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